
"I've sat at over 500 IEP tables."
I'm Mary, a former special education teacher and administrator, a Special Education Advocate, and co-founder of The Advocate Ally with my son, Graham. I left the system to help families directly. I created this special education resource because too many parents feel pressured to accept generic, "cookie-cutter" IEPs.
The guidance below is grounded in the same practical, document-based questions I raise in IEP meetings every day. Use it to ask for clearer, more individualized support for your child.
Mary
Co-founder, The Advocate Ally
Start with the record, then choose the next step
Your child has an IEP, but the written services, accommodations, behavior supports, progress reporting, or staff responsibilities are not matching what happens at school. If you are searching because the school is not following my child's IEP, start by proving the gap with dates, the exact IEP page, and the records the school uses to verify delivery.
What to Check
- The IEP page, service grid, accommodation, BIP, progress-reporting section, or support responsibility tied to the concern.
- Each date the support was missed, shortened, changed, or only provided informally.
- Service logs, schedules, provider notes, progress reports, staff emails, student work, behavior records, or attendance records showing what happened.
Red Flags
- The school gave a verbal answer but the IEP, PWN, progress report, or meeting note does not show the decision.
- The response focuses on opinion, staffing, or habit without naming data, records, or the written IEP section.
- The issue could affect services, placement, discipline, safety, graduation, or evaluation timelines.
Documents to Gather
- The current IEP page tied to the support.
- A dated implementation table for one service or support.
- Any school record, email, progress report, or log already available.
Sample Finding
The record shows Ask what records show the sessions delivered, and what support is needed now if the service was missed.
Parent-Safe Sentence
"Ask the school to review the attached implementation concern table and confirm what records show delivery of each IEP service or support, how any gap will be corrected, and whether the team should review impact."
Who to Contact
Start with the teacher or provider for facts, copy the case manager, and ask the IEP coordinator or special education director for a written implementation plan if the issue continues.
Privacy Guardrail
Share only the facts and records needed for this request. Avoid sending broad medical history, unnecessary diagnoses, or extra student identifiers unless the school process specifically requires them.
When to Get Local Help
Get qualified local help if the school response could affect discipline, safety, placement, service denial, evaluation rights, missed timelines, retaliation concerns, state complaint, mediation, due process, graduation, or unclear state-specific deadlines.
Source Grounding
- IDEA IEP contents
- IDEA review and revision of IEPs
- IDEA services and aids
- IDEA related services
- IDEA state complaints
- IDEA due process complaint
This guide is educational information, not legal advice. Rules and deadlines can vary by state, district, and procedure.
What's Happening
Your child has an IEP, but the written services, accommodations, behavior supports, progress reporting, or staff responsibilities are not matching what happens at school. If you are searching because the school is not following my child's IEP, start by proving the gap with dates, the exact IEP page, and the records the school uses to verify delivery.
Rights to Review
An IEP is meant to be implemented as written. A strong first step is to compare the plan with delivery records, ask the school to confirm what happened, and request a written plan for correction before escalating.
- The school is responsible for making the written IEP available to staff who implement services, accommodations, and supports.
- You can ask for records the school maintains to show implementation, such as service logs, data sheets, progress records, schedules, or provider notes.
- If services or supports were missed, the team can review impact and whether compensatory services or another remedy may be appropriate.
- If the school refuses to address a service, support, evaluation, placement, or FAPE-related request, ask for the decision and basis in writing.
Build a Calm Written Record
When a school conversation feels urgent, the safest first move is usually a narrow written record: what happened, what you are asking for, and what evidence should be reviewed.
The Calmer First Written Step
Ask the school to review the attached implementation concern table and confirm what records show delivery of each IEP service or support, how any gap will be corrected, and whether the team should review impact.
What to Document
- The IEP page, service grid, accommodation, BIP, progress-reporting section, or support responsibility tied to the concern.
- Each date the support was missed, shortened, changed, or only provided informally.
- Service logs, schedules, provider notes, progress reports, staff emails, student work, behavior records, or attendance records showing what happened.
Evidence to Attach
- The current IEP page tied to the support.
- A dated implementation table for one service or support.
- Any school record, email, progress report, or log already available.
When to Ask for PWN
Ask for written documentation if the school says the written IEP will not be implemented as written, refuses to review the gap, or says no remedy is needed without sharing the records used.
Keep the Request Narrow
- Start with one service, accommodation, or support and one date range.
- Ask what records show delivery before arguing remedies.
- Ask who owns implementation going forward and how the parent will know it happened.
What Not to Say
Avoid: Broad accusations about intent or motive.
Try: Tie the concern to the written IEP, evaluation data, service logs, meeting notes, or a specific school decision.
Avoid: A long history of every frustration in the same email.
Try: Lead with the one decision, service gap, or document section you need the team to address now.
Avoid: The school broke the law and owes us everything.
Try: Please compare the IEP requirement with the implementation records for these dates and confirm the team's next step.
Make the written request easy to answer
Keep the message short enough that the school can respond point by point. Use this structure before adding personal details.
Ask the school to review the attached implementation concern table and confirm what records show delivery of each IEP service or support, how any gap will be corrected, and whether the team should review impact.
The IEP page, service grid, accommodation, BIP, progress-reporting section, or support responsibility tied to the concern.
Start with one service, accommodation, or support and one date range.
Ask for written documentation if the school says the written IEP will not be implemented as written, refuses to review the gap, or says no remedy is needed without sharing the records used.
Turn the concern into a usable record
A stronger first message usually sounds specific, documented, and answerable. Use this as the shape, then swap in your child's actual dates and IEP pages.
Speech therapy is written for 30 minutes twice a week, but the parent sees only one session in three weeks and no explanation in the progress report.
IEP service grid, parent missed-session calendar, provider schedule, school service logs if available, and emails about cancellations or staffing.
Ask what records show the sessions delivered, and what support is needed now if the service was missed.
What To Do Right Now
Make a one-page table with date, IEP page, required support, what happened, record source, and school response.
Ask for records showing delivery of the service or support for the same date range.
Send one narrow implementation request asking how the gap will be corrected and how staff responsibility will be confirmed.
If the school says no correction or remedy is needed, ask for the data and written basis before choosing complaint, mediation, due process, or local professional help.
Check the written services before you document missed implementation
Use the service minutes checker to compare frequency, duration, provider, setting, and service logs before you ask for clarification or team review of missed services.
Open the service minutes checkerStart With the Written Record
Before you send a letter or file a complaint, start with the written IEP. The audit can flag documented gaps, weak language, and sections that may deserve a written question or closer professional review.
Frequently Asked Questions
What should I document first when the school is not following the IEP?
Should I accuse the school of violating the IEP?
Can I ask for compensatory services?
Does this prove the school broke the law?
Review the document before you escalate
Upload your IEP to identify written sections that may need clarification, correction, or professional review.
Review My IEP